The man who introduced me to Lori
“Who is he? What’s he like?” Those are questions I’ve been asked a bunch since I announced my engagement in April of this year. He is Brandon. And he and I were made for each other.
I kept him to myself for a very long time. I didn’t make a big deal about him to friends or family, I didn’t post 8-million photos of us on Facebook detailing every date or cute thing he said, and during the few times I got cold-feet and broke things off, I didn’t splash drama and crap all around the internet sphere.
He is my now-husband. My forever-husband. And he is amazing. I’ve known him for just over 2 years now. We met playing softball–my team beat his team for the championship (love you, babe!). Our first time really interacting with other involved me rounding 2nd base and tearing my calf, and he was the nice shortstop who watched me crawl to third-base and didn’t throw me out (his team was NOT pleased with him).
Last summer he asked me to play fall ball on his co-ed team, and I said yes. I was happy to play on a night when my kids went to their dad’s and he needed a girl in the outfield. We were friends on Facebook where we commented on each other’s jokes or photos. I thought he was funny, and little did I know, he was paying attention to all I had to say about whatever struck me fancy.
It was a post about how I enjoyed sleeping alone at night, because I didn’t have to worry about loud snoring or foul smells that got him to text me directly calling my bullshit. “Being alone in bed sucks!” He jabbed. I told him I agreed. (Post-divorce, nighttime was the most difficult for me. The chats about the day, dreams or plans to be made, those chats were what I missed the most!) We began an honest, open friendship. No BS, no games, just two people being very real about their pasts, their presents, and their hopeful futures.
He asked me one night, “Would you consider dating a younger guy?” I won’t lie: I panicked. I didn’t want to mix my dating world with my softball world. That could get messy. Also, it wasn’t the age difference that had me concerned, it was the fact that he was nearly 4 inches shorter than me! I was the girl who was always the tallest in class–the one they called “amazon”–I didn’t even look at dudes shorter than 6 feet tall! Hesitantly, I agreed to go out with him.
I’m so happy I said yes. Who I found is a man I adore and deserves my love. A man who loves me, who makes me a better person, who encourages me every day, who loves my kids and who wants to give everything he has to make it for the long haul. In today’s age, those are difficult things to find! Wow, are they difficult! (Stay tuned for my super-awesome dating-is-a-joke-after-your-forties stories. You’ll see what I mean!)
We laugh together (oh my hell do we laugh!) we love together, we sacrifice together, and we play together. (Our honeymoon consisted of beach volleyball 4 hours a day–this guy’s for me!)
Over the course of the last year, it’s been quite a ride. We’ve had ups-n-downs, happy and hard times and we manage to communicate through it all. I’m so thrilled that I married someone who wants to talk through hard times and work as a team! (We have 8 children between us (yes I said 8), so I’m well aware that we’ll have many adventures ahead of us)
Transitioning into a new life hasn’t been easy, I won’t lie. There’s lots of compromise and you’ve gotta work hard, but that’s like any marriage. And if you’re one of those people that think marriage shouldn’t be work…if you have to work then it’s not a good marriage, I say your so full of crap that your eyes are blazin brown!
For all of you who can’t see a glimmer of light (or hope) beyond the darkness of divorce and pain, I open my heart to you and share this: Live each day. LIVE IT! Don’t just go through the motions! You are worth love. And you are strong enough to create the life you’ve always wanted. Especially in the dark times, remember that.
I’m so grateful for my husband. I’m grateful he’s such a good man. But most of all, I’m grateful he introduced me to the Lori I knew I was deep down inside and he loves me every day for who I am!