Boy and girl meet, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have 4 wonderful kids, and build their dream home. Unhappiness is hidden, distance grows, girl catches boy texting other women, they grow apart and divorce.
Fast forward a few years…
Boy meets more girls, marries one. Girl meets a man, marries him. Girl begins blogging about finding passion, trust, real love, her past, her growth and wonderful new beginnings.
One day, boy was told about the blog. Boy reads it and gets pissed.
Shortly after boy discovers blog, girl is served with court papers where boy accuses her of withholding the children from him, making false accusations about him and coercing her children to lie. Boy also accuses girl of lying to ORS, being vindictive and angry and blogging about the boy so her children read it and think poorly of the boy (because, of course, that is why boy has a strained relationship with his kids).
Sitting in a courtroom across from the person you were married to for half of your life is a different experience each time you walk into the room. The first time, it’s usually your initial finding hearing before the divorce is finalized. If you’re the person who was lied to, cheated on, betrayed, or basically blindsided by the split, you feel somewhat like a deer-in-the-headlights. Your head is spinning and you feel like you’re watching a made-for-TV series on the Lifetime channel. You stare up at a commissioner or judge, and you listen to THEM decide who has custody of the kids. THEY decide if the dollars and cents make sense, THEY decide who drops off and picks up the kids, and THEY decide who stays in the dream house. You sit there and you can’t believe that life as you know it is crumbling around you.
But, as the saying goes, time heals all wounds.
Your next experience in the courtroom may be different. It’s after the divorce. You are stronger. You see the person seated at the other table for what he/she really is. You see the game they play–trying to drag you down and manipulate you. They make efforts to persuade everyone else around them into believing that you are a mean, vengeful person and a liar.
This time, you sit in your crusty leather seat next to your lawyer and you laugh inside. You think to yourself Has it really come to this? Are we really spending money to fight about a BLOG for God’s sake? My hell. Our son could go to college next year with all of the money we are spending on our lawyers.
This time in court, you see the truth. It’s been there all along. The person seated at the other table can’t stand that you’re happy. He’s poured over every blog post about how happy you and the kids are, he’s read details about the hurt that went on in your heart over the many years you were together, and he’s realizing that he messed up. It’s either that, or he’s so God damned pissed off that you left him and have the guts to write about him that all he can see is fire and he’s become vindictive and angry.
There will forever be a wall between boy and girl. It will never change. Ever. There was once a time after the divorce, albeit short, that boy and girl could be cordial to each other…for the sake of the children. But that was before girl found her voice and her strength. And that was before girl met a man and fell in love.
After being accused of so many awful things in court documents, girl wonders why it’s come down to only one thing in the end: the girl’s blog.
The answer? Because girl dared to stand up for herself and dared to share her feelings. Finally.