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You’re missing so much. Don’t you see it?

Being a parent is full time, whether you’re the custodial parent or not. Why don’t you see that? Because, I now know the only person you can see is yourself. It’s always been that way. Everyone else in your life is an merely an accessory.

Do you know that our son is completely in love? He goes to his girlfriend’s house and hangs out with her younger brother who has autism. That boy makes our boy smile. Do you know that her parents think our son is awesome? Her parents are nice. I met her mother and we chatted about the kids. You sent our older son to pick him up at their home one night. I bet you don’t even know where she lives. Do you talk to him about the photos they take together? Do you have any idea how his heart hurt and practically broke to pieces when he saw a friend kissing her on the cheek on Instagram, but they talked through it and it was a misunderstanding and our son could breathe again once he found out?

Our daughters told me that you are making them miss their games and tournaments this weekend because you and your wife planned a weekend away with them. You’re traveling only 45 minutes away, and yet you won’t take them to their activities because “your time” is more important. I’m sure you don’t want to spend the gas money to run them back and forth, as that was your usual gripe for not running the kids to their things. While it’s nice you’re taking them on a getaway, did you ever think that spending time with the kids on the ride to their games is more valuable to them than some activity you’ve planned? They work so hard with their teams, and you’re making it so they have to let their team down and miss their games. Their sports can be bonding time, too. That’s the stuff they’ll remember. You don’t see the disappointment in their eyes because they have to miss things because you don’t plan around their schedules. Instead, you schedule activities they really don’t care about just so you can take pictures of them and post them on Facebook letting everyone know of your “super-dad” status.

You’re missing the real things.

You don’t make them a priority, and they see it.

What I see is a man who is all alone because he was too blind to see.

4 Responses to “He is too blind to see anything but himself”

  1. iamfindingaway

    Oh you know I relate to this post! It is the worst, seeing what they are missing and then acting like their plans trump everything else.

    Stay strong. So glad your kids have YOU!

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    • Lori

      Thanks, sweetie! Their plans always trump…until they’re old and alone and asking our kids why they never come to see them. So sad!

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  2. Phoenix

    Let him be blind and dumb. The kids aren’t and that’s all that matters. They will catch on and they will say something and he will have to live with the fact that he helped destroy the little bit of relationship that he had with them. My ex hasn’t spoken to his kids in over a week, and it’s nothing to him. The NBA playoffs are more important at this time. And then he’ll get them for his weekend and he’ll be “fun” daddy and then he’ll repeat the same shenanigans all over again. I’m done. If you can’t be a father even when you don’t have them, I’m not going to sweat it anymore.

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    • Lori

      You’re so right! Why is it we feel like we have to make up for their shortcomings? I guess because we don’t want the kids to be disappointed…but disappointment is part of life. It’s going to be too late for them and they’ll wonder what happened!

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