Archive for ‘November, 2012’

Love Lori AWe all remember the scene in Toy Story 2 where the evil Doctor Pork Chop has Bo Peep dangled by a string and with hate and vinegar in his voice says, “You must choose, Sheriff Woody. How shall she die? Shark? Or death by monkeys?” It seems a strange choice, but okay. We’ll go with it. It seems in the days of single-motherhood, I’ve come across my share of days when I feel as though I’m dangling by a string, facing my impending doom at the hands of many things or people. Yesterday, it just so happened it was my sons who were holding the strings.

Let’s go back to Sunday night. I told my son, to take a shower after he arrived home from the long Thanksgiving weekend at his dad’s home. He smelled of 13-year-old boy mixed together with hint of laziness, gathered from days of lounging game-side, as all kids on Thanksgiving break do. He (after much arguing and convincing that he really did smell!) humored me and hopped in the shower. Later, I discovered that the bathmat was dripping wet and once again he forgot to “seal off” his 120 degree, 30-minute long soak in the shower, and some of the water made it to the bathroom floor. Finding the poor rug puddled on the floor, I told him to place it in the tub so it could dry out.

Fast forward 12 hours when two teenage boys are (of course) running late for school on a Monday morning, and they’re taking their turns in the bathroom to shower, douse their parts with cologne, and gel their hair (notice I didn’t mention anything about brushing teeth…that’s a bigger issue at our house). Finally! Everyone out the door on time and delivered to school? Check! Mom celebrates with a “go me!” dance and to celebrate, I head to the bathroom to run a bubble bath so I can soak the rushed morning away in the tub before I head to work for another week of non-creative frivolity. I slide open the shower curtain, and straight out of the move Psycho, (hearing that all-to familiar screeching music) I see the bathmat lying lifeless in the bathtub. Are you freaking serious?! (This is the part where I’m dangling by a string. I envision my teenage boys each holding a string, giggling at me as I hang there with fury in my eyes.)

You guessed it, folks. Two boys, two showers, and one dead bathmat in the bottom of the tub. Teenagers gather their common sense as they go, I guess. I’m just waiting for the day for mine to start the gathering process!!!

Love Lori A Bathmat2

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Love Lori A Home Farmhouse

I mentioned in a previous post that dreaming was something I’ve been sure to add to my life since I’ve started my new journey. It’s not that I didn’t allow myself to dream in the past…I more-or-less didn’t allow myself to believe in any dreams I may have kicked around. Does that make sense?! After all, dreaming is irresponsible. Ha! That’s a package of crap! Dreaming is what makes life bearable some days!

In the dark nights of the last 2-3 years of my marriage, after my ex-husband and I would fight about one of his female “friends” he would text (while completely ignoring me, our children, and life around him), I would lie in bed next to him feeling more alone than if I were actually laying there by myself. In the painful, almost lethal quiet of the night, I would close my eyes and dream of being a divorced mother of four. I would imagine a small, white farmhouse barely big enough to fit our five beds into with a kitchen at the back and lots of light spilling in. I would reference the images of the small older homes in Bountiful I would see as a child and I would visualize a more calm, less angry and volatile life. That dream, although scary and filled with fear of moving forward in my life on my own, was something that would get me through those long, lonely nights. I’d given up on all of my wants and desires and focused on being a good mom and providing for my kids, and that dream showed me that I could do it alone.

Ironically, one year after finalizing my divorce, I found my dream home. It’s a bit different than the house in my dreams, but it is everything I’ve ever wanted. Seeing this dream realized, completely on my own, now helps me to keep on dreaming! Beyond the dreams of health and happiness of me and my kids, there are things I want. Things I’m working for and dreaming of. And damn, Gina, it feels goooood! :) Here are a few I’m drooling over as of late…

I’ve loved Mac computers since the early 90’s. I’ve never owned one. Boy, how I’d love to go to bed looking at this gorgeous thing every night! The new iMac is to DIE FOR!

Love LoriA iMac

Having the he-man of computers in my home makes me want to take some lip smacking images to load onto that baby. In order to do that, I of course need my very own Nikon D700!

Love Lori A Nikon D700

And, of course in order to get around town and take spectacular photos, mama needs one of these Audi Q5s! Of course, it would need to be in brilliant black with beige interior. Mmmm. Come to mama!

Love Lori A Audi Q5

Last, but certainly not least, a dream of mine (and the one most likely to become a reality within the next year) is to visit the gorgeous islands of Hawaii. Tropical breezes, low-key lifestyle. 10 days (let’s push it to 14…why the hell not!) of pure heaven! This girl belongs on that beach!

Love Lori A Hawaii

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Screen Shot 2014-10-23 at 7.03.07 PMAre you one of those people who’s made decisions in your life based on that annoying-as-hell voice in your head I lovingly refer to as do the right thing or no I can’t?! For instance, you discover you’re pregnant with your third child (your older–if you can even say “older”–two kids are not-quite 3 and 10 months old), and Mr. Do the right thing tells you to trade-in your not-even-one-year-old Jeep Grand Cherokee (which you freakin’ love) for a mini van. “It’s the right thing!” you hear. You know exactly which voice I’m talking about. Well folks, I met Mr. Do the right thing early on in my life, and wouldn’t you know it, I married a man just like him!

When I told my husband of nearly 17 years to move out of my home, Mr. Do the right thing was sent packing as well. Wants and desires I’d pushed down inside of me were finally allowed to surface. I actually (dare I say it out loud?) dreamed! For so long, dating back to my elementary school days, dreaming was not part of my persona. I would go through the days and weeks thinking to myself I should do the right thing. What kind of life is that? What kind of LIVING is that?

When I was married, I badly wanted an iPhone. After all, I was the fix-it-guy, the teacher, the GPS, the social event planner, and the Wikipedia of our family. If the sink was clogged, I was your girl. If we had a baseball tournament in Idaho and needed to find all of the fields before departing on the trip, I was printing and preparing our itineraries days in advance. I went to my husband one day and told him how much easier my life would be if we had internet on the go, and I wanted an iPhone. “We can’t get one of those. We can’t afford it.” was what I’d hear. He’s right! I’d think to myself. That’s not the right thing to do.

The same sort of thing was true for me ever wanting a pedicure or desiring laser hair removal (yes, it was a true desire). You can’t afford that! was what I’d hear in my head (because really, those dark hairs popping out of that mole on your chin are sexy as hell, lady! Keep them!) WTF! I really lived like this? Yes, I was a sad, pathetic victim of Mr. Do the right thing.

Divorce opens up a new world to many people. Friends and loved ones may look at them from afar and can be heard saying, “They’ve completely gone off the deep end!” Well, ya know what?! Before judging, take a step back. Perhaps we’ve finally given ourselves permission to be the people we’ve always wanted to be! Maybe our give-a-shit about our dreams finally kicked in, and we’re now telling ourselves Yes I can!

The picture above? It’s me…at almost 42…with pink streaks in my hair. Juvenile? Over-indulgent? Off the deep end? Go ahead and think what you want. When I look at this picture, it makes me smile. I see me. The dreamer. The girl I pushed down for so many years has risen to the top. She is smiling and screaming aloud, “Yes I can!”

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House Snow Winter

We had our first big snow storm here in Utah on Saturday. Hooray! Snow is happily welcomed during the months of November and December around the Anderson household. But after that, it needs to blow its way up North. I was a happy girl to see the gorgeous sunny morning, so I grabbed my Nikon and got out in the white and took some pics. Hope you all enjoy this eye candy!

Snowy Street

Icicles

Snowy Tree

Shoveling

 

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I am a firm believer in achieving balance. My friend Jennafer tells me the art of achieving balance is something I should help to teach others. Ha! Really?! Mother of four, recently divorced after 17 years of marriage, taking on a full-time job, running a household, maneuvering through the kids’ school events, sports, homework etc. and trying to create a life of my own makes me the poster child for UN-balanced. There are days where I get the kids out the door and feel angry, frustrated, and as out-of-control as a fighter pilot in a tailspin. But you know what I’ve learned? I’ve learned how to glide.

I recently saw the movie Flight starring Denzel Washington. There’s a scene in the movie where Denzel and his co-pilot are trying to gain control of their MD-80 airplane after it nose-dives out of the sky. Denzel is calm and collected as he gets the plane inverted to stop the dive, and at one point he and the 102 souls on board are gliding in the huge plane. I wasn’t a huge fan of the movie, but this part of the movie really spoke to me. Amongst chaos and fear, he had faith in himself, his co-pilot and in his training so he could land the plane safely. The moment where they are gliding was almost peaceful, even though everyone on board was braced and in crash position.

Almost two-and-a-half years after kicking my husband out of my home I’ve dealt with infidelity, divorce, lawyers, debt, joblessness, trying and (finally, after a year) succeeding to sell a home, purchasing a new home, moving, 2 new jobs, and mothering four wonderful kids along the way, I’ve learned to glide. Turbulents, schmurbulents. I got this! These four kids are the reasons I’ve learned to glide. Of course, I’ve also been courageous enough to use my own oxygen mask before assisting others. More on that later.

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